Extra! Extra! Read All About it...
A guy bought a bicycle for the first time, and received a jar of petroleum jelly along with his purchase.
"What's this for?" asked the guy. "Well, you don't want your bike to rust when it rains, so put on a thin layer of the jelly before it rains and you'll never have to worry about rust again!" replied the bike shop owner. "Thanks," said the guy, as he put the jar in his pocket and rode off on his bicycle. He rode straight to his new girlfriend's house where he was meeting her family for the first time. His girlfriend was waiting outside for him when he got there. She came up to him and told him not to speak at all, or else he'll have to do the dishes. He figured that would be no problem since he was shy anyways. So they went into the house, where to his surprise, there were dirty dishes laying everywhere. Man, he thought to himself, they live like pigs! Dishes lay everywhere he looked. They were on the furniture, in the bathroom, on the floor -- everywhere. His girlfriend led him into the dining room where everyone was waiting to eat.
They all sat down to eat without uttering a word. The guy couldn't believe how weird everything was. He didn't want to end up doing all those dishes, so he tried to get one of them to speak. He started to feel up his girlfriend at the table. Her parents raised their eyebrows but didn't say anything. So he took it one step further, and threw her onto the dining room table, and proceeded to make love to her in front of her whole family. Still, not a word. These people are crazy!, he thought. He then went to his girlfriend's sister, placed her on the table, and had sex with her too. Again, no response. I've got an idea... and I bet it will work. Her dad will spaz!, the guy thought. He took his girlfriend's mom, threw her on the table and had sex with her too. Nothing. The guy just couldn't believe it and shook his head. Suddenly, he looked out the window and saw a thunderstorm approaching, so he pulled the jar of petroleum jelly out of his pocket.The dad jumped out of his chair and screamed, "All right! I'll do the dishes!!!"
Heh. SICK!
Ohyea, my senior pictures are in finally. Ask me if you want one. Ohyes, since i didn't blog much yesterday due to tiredness, i'll have to catch up some today. All state was muchos fun! It was tiring, but also a good times to just get away from school. However, making up work missed due to it is gonna suck ass. I hate sucking ass. Us losing state also sucks ass. I mean, i wouldn't be so mad if Lincoln SE just flat out pounded us into oblivion, BUT they didn't really out-play, and i really believe that last 4th down should be measured, and i think McCardle was in, cept they pulled him back out. However, my heart just sunk when Flynn dropped the final punt return and they recovered it. Many tears were shed i bet. Sad. I still salute our football boys; true, they have never really supported the fine art program, but at least we appreciate their hard work and drive. Anyways, the rest of the weekend went well, it was good to hang out with people w/o worryin about school work for about 3 days. Oh yes, a few of you have inquired about my women application; it is rather humorous i actually have received responses. I laugh. In any case, bed calls for tomorrow will be long and painful. peace.