So today blows ass...
I went to OAYO after church today; found out that i didn't do too hot on the challenge. Therefore i didn't make the top 3 chairs, so i am placed back to random rotation 5th stand. Ah, and it's the old issue of my mom fucking caring too much. I told her when i got home, and she gets immediately angry and proceed to raise her voice at me. If you have been following along on the story of my life, you would know that my mom and i frequently have fights, and the condition has only gotten slightly better this year. Sophomore year and Junior sucked ass. She obviously does not understand the concept of auditions. people get shafted all the time. She proceeds to get angry and yell at me more; after taking her shit for about 5 mins, i couldn't stand it anymore. Another fight ensued of raising the voices. Granted i realize raising voice against 'rents is a bad thing, but i am sick and tired of the same old issue again. She does not understand i really dont give a damn about OAYO. she seems to believe that because i am in the back of the section, i am not as good as everyone else. let's reiterate my point: i dont give a damn about OAYO. she seems to think that i should care about it; she believes that i should care a lot about OAYO and that i should practice a lot (i.e. 3-4 hours like the people in there that plan on majoring in violin performance). She seems to think that i am a person that lack in honor. Apparently, she's angry that my empathy towards OAYO. I am tired of fighting over the same thing, she has different values than i do. She cares about "being the best and proving it." I dont. I dont have much care about proving anything, i have nothing to prove. In fact, we are still kinda arguing as i type this off and on. She doesn't seem to understand the fact that I looked at the seating and said, "eh, that sucks" as opposed to *for your information, she just said i had a lack of feeling of shame* Sigh, i think i'm just gonna go veg because no matter what i do, we're gonna fight and argue.